Good morning Mystical Readers,
Talk about a long time no see? I have no idea where to begin with you but I guess I can start at the beginning. Two months ago, I made some major life changes that strongly affected my future. Though I plan to leave some details out to protect other people involved, I will try to be as honest as I can with my retelling.
I almost got married. I was engaged and was counting down the months till I married my boyfriend of two years. But do to some disagreements of view, I quickly realized we weren't on the same path. Some unforgivable things were said and done and it enlightened me. I learned that there are key moments in our lives that a simple choice can determine the decision to preserve, or completely start over. I chose the second.
There are many things in my life that I have put off because I placed my relationship above it, such as my career, my higher education, and even independence. Within the following few weeks, I completely changed my plans for the future. For MY future. I quit my job at the after school location, giving up my teaching path. I spent a few weeks looking for work but quickly realized I didn't want to stay within the education world despite it being all I know. Perhaps that was the exact reason why, both my parents were educators and I grew up seeing the pros and cons of teaching. I absorbed skills and talents, and an affinity for that world.
But then you watch my parents and I can see the major different between them and myself. Passion. My parents both do their jobs to the best of their ability, even if that means spending their free time finding ways to better themselves to pass forward onto their students. If my mother didn't need the paycheck, she would still go into work the next day because she cares and loves her students and loves making a difference in their lives. I can't say that I don't care, because I have made many beautiful connections with my students, but I do find myself counting down the minutes to my clock out time.
So with some thinking and reflection, I noticed that a good part of my family and extended members are in law enforcement. Whether it is as School Safety, Parole Officer, Corrections, PO, or higher ranks, they all serve a cause. It made me curious to see if that would be something I would be able to take part in and become a part of. But first, I must test those waters and not just jump into the ocean that is law enforcement. I've managed to get my guard licence and started with a small gig as a security guard for a location that sees high flow in population. I figured this will help me see how I respond coming in contact with a lot of people during the period of the day, not to mention different types of people. Plus, it keeps me on my feet for long periods of time. If this doesn't help me toughen me up or at least prepare me for what comes next, then I'll know if I should apply for the academy or not.
So fingers crossed for my 180 turn on my career. However, there are other aspects of my life that I've changed, like being more independent, spontaneous, and adventurous. I want to take more risks. I played things really safe for a big part of my life, and I might have lost a huge opportunity that could reshape how I see my future unfolding... but I have the chance to try to make up for that, and chase what I want, and fight for it. If I fail, then I fail, but it won't be because I was too scared to try. I've shed so many layers that I have spent years building around myself in such a short time, and though I feel vulnerable, I also feel liberated. So not all bad experiences leave bitter tastes. If anything I feel happier than I have in a very long time.
A toast to the future that can be, and a candle for all the things that no longer are.
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